Surviving Natural Childbirth

[Contributing Writer, Tesla / Founder of The Mother's Voice / @the.mothers.voice]

Okay, I’m not going to lie to you ladies, yes I had a natural childbirth for my first child, and yes, when my cute squishy baby arrived, I oozed with love hormones and told myself “it was worth it”…but what I will tell you is this... I will never forgot... never, Never, Ever forgot the discomfort and the feeling of that 7lb 4oz baby pushing through a narrow part of my body to enter this world. As I always joked on my hopes and dreams of my first childbirth: I hope that I sneeze and [*plop*], 'Oh, Hi Baby! Welcome to this world!” Not so much…

So here is a list of the methods to my madness of enduring Natural Childbirth for the first time. Everyone is different, but if this is the path you are interested in, here are some things to try:

(Side note: Medicalized childbirth is an amazing and miraculous advancement; whether you choose natural, epidural, pain management… the end result is a beautiful child, whatever you decide is the right decision!).

Less than 15 hours before my labor started, 2 days before my actual due date

Here we go...

1. Research birthing centers in your area, talk to other mamas and their experience at different hospitals. Find one that you feel will advocate for your natural childbirth journey. Explore and interview doulas (if that’s what you want to do) and ask questions.

Personally, I felt like I needed a ‘natural childbirth cheerleader’ who had seen countless natural childbirths and could reassure me and say, "don't worry honey, this is normal" [@bestbirthhawaii]. Additionally, I felt the extra doula help would be useful because my dear husband becomes faint and queasy at the mention of blood or anything 'medical'... as in, ghost white and clammy... The amniotic fluid, blood, vernix-covered baby, and 5lb placenta delivery may be a little much for him...(but he did great by the way!)

2. Elevate (will not use the term ‘reduce’) yourself to an animalistic notion of your existence. Animals give birth, they give birth in the wild, and they give birth naturally.

3. Pain Scale. As an ER nurse of six years, I have asked “what is your pain scale from zero to ten?” thousands of times. Here’s the trick that worked for me… Subjectively Jedi-mind-trick yourself and rate your discomfort low to start. Experiencing childbirth for the first time, try to realistically scale the pain and imagine a 10/10 pain as, in ER terms, "imagine your Femur getting snapped in half"...

My only photo laboring at home, 6am-9pm

When early labor started to get considerably uncomfortable I said, “okay, this is a 2/10”… I never ended up reaching a 10. If you start at a “9 or 10” in early labor.. yikes, you may be begging for an epidural or pain killer.

4. Humor and Laughter. Midway through my labor, I put on the film “Bridesmaides” and laughed/cringed/laughed my way through about half of it before needing to move onto the next distraction.

5. Maybe try crying just a little. Right about this time, I called my Doula, Sarah, and I cried, probably sobbed, “It’s just so painful”... Like all emotional dumping and unloading in general, I felt better and stronger and continued on with my labor.

6. Take a walk outside. I walked around, holding my belly, stopping for the contractions and waddling on.

7. Take a hot shower. At this point, my contractions were variable, but coming as often as every four to seven minutes. 'It is time' I thought, and told my husband and off we went.

8. Vocal Toning, Mantras, Meditation. Sitting in the back seat on our one hour drive to the birthing center, I had the window down and fresh air blasting, yes, blasting in my face, I closed my eyes and my inner hippie/meditation took over. At one point my husband rolled up my automatic window and I nearly had a panic attack, "No!" I exclaimed, "put it down, down! it needs to be down"... even though I was fully capable of pushing the button, he obeyed my wishes and rolled my window back down; I was back in the gusting blast of fresh air bliss. For the long drive in the car, I used the following methods that I obtained from Noelani’s amazing child birthing class [@noelanilove].

a. Vocal Toning. With each contraction, moan, sigh, release any sounds that feel good keeping in mind the relaxation of vocal cords and diaphragm (imagine those animal birthing videos on youtube…those sounds). Let it out!

b. Mantras. Here were mine:

“at the top I will come down” (Imagined biking/sprinting up a steep steep hill, and the reward of the downhill coast) Side note: for me, when the contraction was done, miraculously, no pain.. but understanding the next contraction was minutes away was quite anxiety-inducing, but I tried my best to remain calm.

“I can do this, I will do this, I am doing this”

“My mom did this, women do this, we can do this” …’We’ being, me and baby Nova.

c. Imagery. As the contraction grows, nearing the peak, I would imagine the thinning and opening of my cervix and baby moving down. Focus on the function of the contractions and understand what they are physiologically doing for this process? Is it really acute pain/pain? or rather the pulling, pressure, and stretching?

Reassure yourself this has to happen and has purpose.

eeek..This photo brings back so many memories...

9. Stay Positive. Now, fast forward to Active Labor before pushing. It is hard to remain in that zen-like-focus after arrival at the hospital. You are monitored, bright lights, there is beeping and people poking and prodding your body which throws off your concentration of Steps a,b, and c (above). Listen to your body. Try your best to connect with your baby and cheer yourselves on. “We can do this” “We got this” “We will do this together”!

If you need to rest out a contraction and not push, and if it’s safe for you and the baby as determined by your MD, NP, midwife, do it. I feigned composure during a cycle or two of contractions because I truly felt 'we' needed rest and to regain strength for the next pushes. My OB at one point said, “wait, wait, are you having a contraction right now??? You are! I can see it on the monitor!” Eyes closed, stubbornly ignoring (teenager-style), I told myself, “keep the skin on your face smooth and your expression neutral Tesla, breath evenly... they’ll never know…” They knew.

10. Listen to your body and listen to your MD’s, NP’s, nurses and doulas (if you have one). They will let you know when and if you need to be worried and give you direction, that is why they are there. If you ever feel like something is happening too fast and are 'out of the loop', speak up! Advocate for yourself and ask questions. This is your birth, your body, and your baby; in the absolute least, you deserve to know what's going on; don't be afraid to say, "wait, someone explain to me what is happening."

Overall trust in the nature of the Labor and Delivery and try to remain optimistic of your ability to “go natural”. Understand that things happen. Maybe you wanted 'natural childbirth' but you ended up with the whole enchilada: epidural, pitocin... c-section?...Or were dead set on an epidural, but it was "too late" and had to go natural... It's okay. Forgive yourself, forgive the situation and enjoy your beautiful new baby! Have pride in all your accomplishments leading up to your new title as "Mother".