They Can Work It Out

[Contributing Writer, Jan of Vashon, Washington]

Hi moms!

I’m an old lady now with grown sons. They are the joy of my life, even though worrying about them never stops no matter how old they get....so all you young moms, just get used to it.

One story I wanted to share was what happened the day our second son, Jamie was born. Chris was three years old at the time and my husband, Bill brought him to the hospital to meet his new brother. Chris was not happy that I had been gone and when he saw Jamie in my arms, he looked shocked. He told his dad he wanted to go home and he seemed very distressed. Instead of freaking out, I just stayed calm and laid Jamie on the bed with pillows around him. I gave Chris a hug and then talked to my husband and other visitors in the room who had come to offer congratulations. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Chris. He approached the bed and looked at his baby brother, who looked so small and helpless. I kept everyone talking and let Chris just absorb the new reality all by himself. After a few minutes, I heard Chris lean in and whisper to his little brother, “Don’t worry baby...I’M here.”

Then I knew everything was cool. I can count on one hand the times these brothers have had a fight over the last thirty years. Bill and I have always stayed out of any disagreements between the two of them, and they have always managed to work through any problems. On a few occasions when they were young, we would hear a complaint from one about the other, and our answer was always, “work it out between yourselves.”

As teenagers and adults, they have rarely argued, and when they have, neither one of them can relax until all is settled between them. I have seen sibling rivalry do terrible things to a family and have known brothers and sisters who have dropped all communication with one another. Sometimes it can’t be helped, but I think staying out of their arguments and allowing kids to be responsible for their own reconciliations really does them a great service. It will aid their ability to resolve conflicts throughout their lives.

So that’s my little nugget of wisdom to all you new moms. And it’s so comforting to know that our kids will have each other to love when we are gone. I think some of my favorite moments of my life have been watching the two of them laughing together!❤️